“I don’t think depression is a defect. I personally find it a healthy response to an unhealthy world. Shutting down when the world is falling apart isn’t a sign of dysfunction. Plunging forward like nothing is wrong is what doesn’t make any sense.”
–“Gracie”, This Animal Body
In the years when I struggled with depression, the shame of thinking I was dysfunctional was almost worse than the near-paralyzing despair of the condition itself.
What’s wrong with me? I’d always wonder. Why can’t I pull myself together and be happy like everybody else?
I know many others who have felt the same way.
In fact, one of the reasons I wrote This Animal Body is because I don’t like how we almost always talk about depression and anxiety as individual defects or flaws. I don’t think it’s helpful or even very accurate. I’m not saying there aren’t physiological, genetic, or other individual factors that contribute to anxiety and depression. I am saying that thirty years of dealing with both has convinced me that there’s something much bigger going on.
Understanding this bigger picture helped me tremendously, lifting me out of shame and renewing my hope, so I offered this perspective in my book. I wasn’t sure how it would resonate with others, but feedback so far suggests more than a few people have found it helpful.
Like the reader who posted this on GoodReads:
“Oh my god, to say this book has changed me is an understatement… The way that depression was talked about made me cry, to be honest. There are times when my depression feels all-encompassing, leading me to feel isolated and empty. As simple as it seems, reading Walters talk about how having depression doesn’t make you less of a person hit close to home.”
I choke up every time I read this. I’m so grateful to this woman for her courage and vulnerability, in addition to her generosity in taking the time to write a review.
Here’s where I could use your help. Since October is World Mental Health Month, could you spread the word about this book so it can help others experiencing depression or anxiety to feel less shame and more hope?
One of the best ways to spread the word is to leave a review on Amazon, GoodReads, or your favorite site (I explain why at the end of this post). It doesn’t have to be long or in-depth—a sentence or two, or even just a rating with no review, is plenty helpful.
Leave a Review
If you haven’t read the book, you could also:
- Request a copy at your local library (many have easy ways to do this on their websites)
- Recommend it to a book club.
- Buy a copy for someone you know who might appreciate it.
One last thing—depression encouraged me to believe I was never good enough, so part of my healing has been to celebrate who I am and what I’ve done whenever possible. Right now, I’m celebrating the fact that This Animal Body has been honored by four awards, most recently a Gold Medal in the Readers’ Favorite Awards Contest in the Animal Fiction category.
It doesn’t change the value of the book, but it does make it harder for me to doubt it. 😊
About that first photo—
It’s the fruit capsule of a plant commonly known as hearts-a-bustin’. It struck me as a great metaphor for depression and anxiety.
When I’ve felt depressed, it’s often seemed like my heart was so overloaded with pain it was going to burst.
And yet, when I learned to listen to the pain—not the loud voice of cynicism, but the quieter heartache beneath the despair—I began to feel how disconnected I was—from myself, from other people, from the wider, living world.
And once I became aware of the pain of the connections I’d lost, I was able to find them again.
Depression can lead to ungodly amounts of suffering. In my experience, it can also lead to growth, wisdom, and the gift of reconnection.
And not just for individuals. Our culture is, in many ways, riddled with disconnection. By calling our attention to this fact, those who are experiencing depression are offering all of us a great gift—the ability to acknowledge our collective loss and recognize what it is we need to find again.
Kind of like the berries of the hearts-a-bustin’ bush. They offer important nourishment to birds both local and migratory every fall.
If you’re struggling with depression or anxiety, you don’t have to do it by yourself. I didn’t discover the gifts of depression on my own, and nobody else I know did either. You can find organizations, resources, and people to support you here: https://nndc.org/resource-links/
And remember:
You and your burstin’ heart are not alone.
So many of us struggle with this.
PS
Why am I pushing for Amazon reviews?
Amazon is one of the most important places for books to find their people. Lots of folks discover books there and use the reviews to decide whether to read them. Plus, more reviews mean the Amazon algorithm shows the book to more people.
Reviews also open up additional opportunities with editors, book reviewers, and sites like BookBub, who use them to decide whether a book is worth promoting or sharing about. There are few other ways as effective to help the people who might enjoy and/or benefit from a book find it in the first place.
PPS
If you know someone who might appreciate this message, please share it with them.